


Another night, another fight

by I_am_sorry



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Civil War, Feelings, Fix-It of Sorts, Getting Back Together, Hopeful Ending, Hurt, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 18:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17147231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_sorry/pseuds/I_am_sorry
Summary: Every morning before Christmas day Tony goes to the same place, practices the same words in his head, gets ready to do something about it and just at the last moment -when he's finally sure it's time his courage wavers, and with lips set in a tight line he turns and leaves.It's not easy. It's never been particularly easy when it comes to this man, when it comes to them.[Or a non-powers fix it of sorts.]





	Another night, another fight

**Author's Note:**

> Rating T.

Every morning before Christmas day Tony goes to the same place, practices the same words in his head, gets ready to do something about it and just at the last moment -when he's finally sure it's time his courage wavers, and with lips set in a tight line he turns and leaves. It's not easy. It's never been particularly easy when it comes to this man, when it comes to them. 

Tony sighs, hunches over himself. It's a cold morning, so cold he can see his breath in a puff right in front of him. 

To be totally truthful about it, he shouldn't be here. His reason for being here has moved on and yeah… he thinks it's a bit of a mistake being here and yet he can't help it. 

The door, cheerfully decorated with red and green ornaments, seems suspiciously non-threatening and Tony can't believe he is afraid of knocking. But he won't do it in the end. 

Tony nods to himself and turns around. It won't happen this Christmas. 

Nope. 

And yet the door opens right behind him. 

Tony closes his eyes and actually winces. 

 

\---

 

"Mrs Rogers?" Tony asks in what he hopes is his best polite voice. 

The woman in front of him regards him carefully for some awfully long minutes but in the end just shrugs. "What I can do for you?" 

"I am drunk," Tony says and it's a lie. "I got the address I was looking for… wrong." 

The woman just snorts. Red headed and pretty, but not fragile. Tony can see how Steve -no, not Steve, it's better if Tony calls him Rogers even if only in his head- would have fallen for her. 

"Really?" She asks dryly. 

"Yeah, I am just gonna go-"

"What is it Nat-" A familiar voice calls from inside the house cutting Tony's ramble halfway. 

The woman, Nat, looks at Tony with curiosity, maybe a little pity; Steve Rogers appears right at her side in a matter of minutes and Tony Stark for the first in his life is wordless. Impossible blue eyes look at him with wonder and Tony, Tony just can't do it. Maybe in another four years, maybe in twenty, or maybe in another lifetime. 

"Yeah, wrong address," he says thickly and turns to go,  warm fingers stop him however. 

"Please," Steve says and Tony just -hates himself a little for it- stops. 

"I don't know how to start," Steve tells him sincerely. "But you should come inside," 

Tony hesitates but in the end just nods and accepts the invitation. The woman, Nat -Tony has to work to remember that- just looks at them, something like calculation flickering in her eyes. She leaves them alone after Steve nods his head. 

It must be interesting, no doubt about it, having your wife and your former husband in the same room. 

"How have you been?" Steve asks and Tony has to look down and think about his answers. 

"Working."

"I know," Steve half-smiles. "You just work too much," 

It's his safe heaven, working in his technology -it's what always remains when everything else crumbles to dust. Tony shrugs. "I like doing it," 

"I know," Steve repeats again and Tony has to clamp his fingers in a tight fist to withstand this small talk with someone he used to know as best as himself. 

"Have you been touring?" Tony asks half curious. 

Steve sighs. "Yes. Last year. Still in active duty." 

Once a soldier, always a soldier, Tony supposes. 

"I'm happy you are doing fine," 

"I think I should go," Tony says and it's… It's the best for all of the involved. He has a lot to finish in the workshop and a bottle of scotch with his name on it back at home. 

Steve looks at him, eyes filled with remorse. "If you think it's what you need to do," 

"Yes," 

"Then, it was good seeing you."

Tony dips his head, glances at the man in front of him to commit him to memory and then he goes. 

A Christmas morning just like this one, four years ago Steve left home.

\---

 

The skin under his fingers is firm, warm and familiar. And Tony realizes without much surprise, he is not alone in his king-sized bed. He also realizes Steve Rogers is still the most beautiful man he has ever seen. Golden hair, golden skin and soft blue eyes. Tony never stood a chance against it, against him. 

"You shouldn't be here," is the first thing Tony says to him. 

Steve regards him with careful guarded eyes. "Because you have a lover?" 

"I don't," Tony pauses. "You know me be better than that," 

"But you don't want me," Steve supplies grimly. 

"I thought you had a wife," 

Steve snorts. "Nat is not wife material, not for me, not for anyone else. She does what she wants. Plus I can't marry anyone else, I am already married with you."

"We are divorced," Tony reminds him. He still refuses to hope. 

To be fair, yesterday after Tony left Steve's home, he had tought there was no hope left, no fixing it between them. He had still been saying that to himself when by midnight Steve had appeared with a dozen of roses and the best of intentions. 

"You didn't have to use protection," Steve says out of the blue and yet somehow Tony already knows what is it the other man is going to say next. "I never slept with him."

Tony feels his eyes burn, and clears his throat. "But you wanted to."

"That's unfair," 

"It doesn't matter now," Tony has learned to come to terms with it. "He was your highschool sweetheart, he had been MIA in Iraq, you found him, you wanted him. I was only in the middle of it." 

"I should have handled it better," Steve admits pained. 

"It's been four years, of course I had to use protection," Tony looks down at his white bed-sheets. "If not him then maybe someone else, and of course I haven't been exactly celibatethese past four years," 

Steve tries to hide it but he actually flinches at Tony's words. 

"We are divorced," Tony clarifies and he needs, really needs to not feel guilty about his sexual choices this last four years. He has their divorce papers in his safebox after all. Just ink and words, that didn't mean anything but ending mattering more than anything else in the world. 

"You were the one who sent the papers," Steve accuses cold.

"You left," Tony has never said this out aloud but he has always wondered. "Why did you decide to fight this in your own? You left me." 

Steve, always-perfect Steve just answers. "I hated what we were doing to each other right at the end. You were hurting standing by my side, and Bucky needed me. It seemed simple enough back then," 

"Where's he nowadays?" 

"In a rest-house," 

"Just like that?"

Steve nods. "It was his decision," 

"That's why you are here?" Tony asks and he knows they both are hurting right now, and this question is not fair play -but the thing is, he has always known how to fight dirty. 

Steve looks at him with unwavering attention for five awfully long minutes, blue eyes impassive with something Tony can't read. "No. Is not about him anymore. I love you, I never stopped." 

Tony's breath hitches, and he doesn't put resistance once Steve lays him down on the bed again. They fit perfectly as always and Tony just closes his eyes, opens his arms and legs to accommodate the other and just feels. 

 

\---

 

The next morning Steve sleeps blissfully unaware of Tony's eyes right on him, drinking him greedily. In another universe, in another life, maybe they are superheroes with different ideals, or a sheriff and a drunkard, perhaps one of them is woman and they have lived happily for years. Maybe in another time and in another place their world turned to ash. 

Whatever the case, deep down Tony knows he can't pull away and break free. There's a tug inside his chest, a thread that will connect him with Steve Rogers forever. His curse. 

"Forever together, forever apart." Tony says and notices how Steve -painted in morning light- just twitches. 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas!


End file.
